Ampersand Gazette #69

Welcome to the Ampersand Gazette, a metaphysical take on some of the news of the day. If you know others like us, who want to create a world that includes and works for everyone, please feel free to share this newsletter. The sign-up is here. And now, on with the latest …  

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A Former Monk Who Won Powerball
Is Giving Millions to Theaters

Ariana Drehsler for The New York Times

When Roy Cockrum, a one-time struggling actor and a former monk, won a $259 million Powerball jackpot in 2014, he decided to splurge on something a bit out of the ordinary: supporting nonprofit theater.

He set up a foundation that has given away $25 million to 39 American theaters so far, which is why he found himself the other night at the Old Globe in San Diego. He was there to watch the premiere of a production he supported to help the theater reach a milestone: a large-scale staging of the only Shakespeare play it had yet to produce, an adaptation of the somewhat rarely performed three “Henry VI” plays.

“The question I put to artistic directors is, ‘Is there a project you’ve always dreamed of doing that you couldn’t afford?’” Cockrum, an apple-cheeked, snowy-haired 68-year-old, said in an interview. “To help artistic directors dream bigger than they would otherwise.”

“I thought, should I ever have two nickels to rub together, I would try to help fill the gap that exists for nonprofit theaters in America,” he said.

What he did next was shaped by his experience in the monastery. “You live under a vow of poverty for a while and then come into a great deal of money — how you decide to spend that money is affected by that view of the world,” he said.

Every board meeting begins with a reading of the mission statement and a quote from Albert Camus: “Without culture, and the relative freedom it implies, society, even when perfect, is but a jungle. This is why any authentic creation is a gift to the future.”

While the pandemic has taken a toll on live performance, Cockrum said he remained optimistic about theater.

“I’ve been in packed houses in Minneapolis, D.C., New York — I’m seeing people loving going to the theater,” he said. “People know what solitude is now and are keen to be out and about.” 

Excerpted from an article by Robin Pogrebin in The New York Times
“A Former Monk Who Won Powerball Is Giving Millions to Theaters”
August 3, 2024 

In the last Gazette, I wrote about Abundance Consciousness via David Brooks’ essay on the difference between American Consciousness and MAGA Consciousness. It might seem like quite a stretch to you to go from that to an ex-monk giving millions to theatres, but it’s really not. 

The point to be made here is about dreaming, but not just any old wishful thinking dreaming—instead, genuine dreaming, by which I mean, dreaming dreams that come true. 

What’s the difference? 

Wishful dreaming is distinct because it has no action attached to it. Oh, it might have a lot of talking around it, witness the “authors” who have talked and talked and talked to death The Great American Novel they will write.  

Yeah? No. 

Great American Novels like great theatre happen when someone sits down at the blank page, and writes. No exceptions.  

There is no novel unless the novelist acts.
There is no play unless the playwright creates a script, and then collaborates with a legion of others. 

Same same. 

Dreaming with intent for that dream to come true comes with baby steps. The monk-turned-philanthropist in this story worked in the theatre for 21 years. Then, he went on retreat and decided to live the life of a religious. When it came time to take vows, his life derailed that plan. Aging parents needed care. 

In going to the grocery store for those aging parents, he bought a lottery ticket, and now the Old Globe in San Diego has done ALL ALL ALL of the Shakespeare plays. And we think there is no Plan. Ha! 

The truth is that this actor monk dreamed of having enough money to give to theatre-makers some day. He had to have put his whole heart into that dream. And some day, as it always does, arrived. Voila! Money to fund theatres all of which need it now. 

That’s one of the secrets of manifesting money that’s rarely highlighted: 

You have to have a purpose for it. A designated, clear, stated purpose for it. 

Wanting money just to want money is a losing proposition. It also almost never happens that way. Oh, there are exceptions, of course, but for the most part you gotta know what you want it for to manifest it. 

So okay, imagine, if you will, you have $259 million dollars, what are you gonna do with your one wild windfall in life? 

Now, baby steps. One. Every day. Some days all you can do is look up the phone number you need, and you can’t even call it, but the day will come when you pick up the phone, make that call, buy that lottery ticket, keep taking those baby steps because that’s how we all live the lives of our best dreams. 

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You’re Only as Smart as Your Emotions 

For thousands of years, it was common in Western thought to imagine that there was an eternal war between reason and our emotions. In this way of thinking, reason is cool, rational and sophisticated. Emotions are primitive, impulsive and likely to lead you astray.  

Modern neuroscience has delivered a body blow to this way of thinking. The problem is that our culture and our institutions haven’t caught up with our knowledge.  

[I]n 1994, Antonio Damasio demonstrated that emotions deftly assign value to things, and without knowing what’s important, or what’s good or bad, the brain just spins its wheels. Emotions and reason are one system integral to good decision-making. 

[What really happens is] the body kicks into gear and then the mind constructs an emotional experience. In other words, emotions slant the mind in one direction or another depending on circumstances.

Indignation helps us focus on injustice.
Awe motivates us to feel small in the presence of grandeur and to be good to others.
Euphoria put us in a risk-taking frame of mind.
Happiness makes people more creative, more flexible in their thinking.
Disgust primes us to reject immoral behavior.
Fear helps amplify our senses and focus attention.

Anxiety puts us in a pessimistic state of mind, less likely to take chances. Sadness improves memory, helps us make more accurate judgments, makes us clearer communicators and more attentive to fairness. 

What we need is emotional self-awareness. [Y]ou need to be a great emotional athlete in order to make the great decisions in life. You need to be ardent enough to feel and astute enough to understand your feelings. Life is not a series of calculus problems. Life is about movement — moving through different terrains and circumstances. Emotions guide the navigation system.  

I’d love to live in a culture that could talk about emotions with the appreciation, sophistication and granularity that they deserve. 

from an Opinion Essay by David Brooks in The New York Times
“You’re Only as Smart as Your Emotions”
August 15, 2024 

Well, let’s get into the bathwater with the baby, shall we? First, there is a colossal error encoded so deeply without our culture that we think it’s normal when it’s SO not, and that is that women are emotional, and that men are not. C’mon. Really? 

Actually, no, not really. Human beings are created emotional beings whether our culture rewards it or not no matter the gender expression one constructs. So let’s start there. We are emotional, by design. 

Here’s another normal that needs to go. Rational is better than emotional. That one can make me use curse words. Bunk, is all I’ll say for now.  

The metaphysicians, both ancient and modern, knew these truths, self-evident or not. So let’s trace one thing through a human being. 

And because we’re human, let’s do drama whilst we’re at it. 

You’re standing on the corner of 49th Street and Broadway in New York City and you come face to face with a Bengal tiger. Unleashed. Unsupervised. On the prowl. 

What happens? 

First, your body has a sensation. Clench.

Second, your mind has an idea: Whoa. This is out of the ordinary.Third, your heart has an emotion. Fear. You skedaddle. Or you call for help. 

One of the things I learned years ago is that there are three modalities for humans. They need to be experienced in alphabetical order because when we get them out of order, we get in trouble. They are:  

Being
Doing
Having 

Look at the Bengal Tiger experience I just outlined. You’ll see it in action. Your Body is where you Be. Your Mind is where you have an idea that causes you to act. You heart is having an emotion. Be, Do, Have. 

We do it all the time. This is why emotions are the best ever barometer of how you are at any given time. If I ran into a Bengal Tiger at 49th and Broadway, I would be having a heart attack of fear! 

All this should show you is a really simple way to navigate in the world. Who are you being? What idea is causing your impulse to doing? What feeling are you having? It works for everyone everywhere everywhen. 

So yeah, Mr. Brooks is spot-on, just like the metaphysicians. We need emotional awareness because without it navigating this world can get really difficult, really fast. Try trusting your emotions even just for a morning. See if things don’t get easier the more you practice. 

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Here’s a universal affirmation. It works every time, for everyone, always and forever …  

Dr. Susan Corso 

Have you ever had this thought about yourself? What if it were true?
You’re set for life. Amazing. Awesome. Yes! 

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And in publishing news … I am thrilled to be able to show you the new cover for Jacqueline Retrograde, made by the always stellar Victoria Davies. Find her here, and say I sent you. 

Both Jezebel Rising and Oklahoma! Hex are amassing stellar reviews which are the lifeblood of a book for an author, and so I thank all of you who have reviewed one or both, and if you haven’t, please, go on Amazon and post a sentence or two. Please! 

If you want the paperbacks of The Subversive Lovelies, look carefully. There are Two Volumes for each title.  

If you want the Kindle, there’s One File for each title. 

The first two of the tetralogy, Jezebel Rising and Jasmine Increscent can be found at these live links for ebooks and paperbacks. And here’s Gemma Eclipsing … 

which is still on THREE AMAZON BESTSELLER LISTS! And has been on four!! Metaphysical Fiction, LGBTQ+ Fiction, Women’s Historical Fiction, Historical Literary Fiction.  

SO I’M KEEPING IT FREE FOR AS LONG AS IT REMAINS IN THE TOP 50!! 

OKLAHOMA! HEX IS STILL ON THE METAPHYSICAL FICTION BESTSELLER LIST AND HAS BEEN SINCE APRIL 18TH!!! 

I’m eyeballs deep into the research for Jaq Direct, the final book of The Subversive Lovelies, and I’m starting to get intuitive hits on major portions of his story, which is always a fun, fun place for me to inhabit. I’ll let you know when I start writing for real. 

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My top secret series at last has a name that I can reveal to you here. It’s called:

It’s an alternative retelling of the AIDS crisis with one major historical revision, that being that humanity, instead of doing what it actually did, chose to do the right thing. I’m already 15,000 words into Book One of the eight-book series, and ideas are flying fast and furious. This is one of my favorite places to be—in active creating. 

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One of the great pleasures of working on Prismatica is that I lived in the epicenter of the AIDS Crisis on one coast, and Tony, my husband and literary partner, lived in the epicenter of the crisis on the other coast. In practice, it means we bring totally different experiences to the series, and that they enhance one another to make for a better story. Do you have need of someone to partner with to help you with your book ideas? In all seriousness, I know a guy. He’s edited my books for twenty years, and counting. 

Tony Amato is a singularly outstanding book coach and editor.  

May I encourage you to reach out if you need what he calls book-husbanding, which includes coaching along the way? Like I said, if you need anything in your writing life, Tony Amato is the person. Without him, my books—both fiction and nonfiction—would be nowhere near as good as they are. Find him here.  

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In the last issue, I wrote about Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection and this one seemed to follow along nicely afterward. 

I Thought It Was Just Me might be the refrain of much of the populace of our time. At a juncture wherein we are all told repeatedly that we have more connectivity than ever before, we also have an epidemic of loneliness—because people don’t feel connected. 

One of the deepest emotions that keeps us isolated from one another is shame, and this book is a handbook for how to become shame resilient. We never totally recover from it, rather like alcoholism, but we can stop wallowing in it, too. Whew.  

Her examples are so relatable as to be breath-taking, truly. I am struck again and again by how universal are our experiences, and how, when we really do connect with others, and speak our truth about how it feels, it heals. 

I’m also deep into Judy Chicago’s first memoir Through the Flower: my struggle as a woman artist, and to read it from the perspective of almost 50 years later is mind-blowing. Seriously. 

She was one of the few to articulate her struggles thanks to the gracious encouragement of none other than Anaïs Nin, who mentored Judy and wrote the Foreword. The most gratifying part, and the hardest part, too, is that the difficulties she describes—despite the many women who have followed in her gigantic footsteps—are the same today. 

Her writing about women who make art and how to come out of the male-dominated art world, and art critics especially, is poignant and so, so real. I completely appreciate how connected to her emotions she is.

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Are you waiting for a sign?
How about this one? 

This image is one of the first I ever received via text message. 

Tony Amato sent it to me
as a reminder to be strong, to stand in what I know,
that he was standing with me at a very difficult time in my life. 

I find myself reminded of this solid redwood
again and again these days.
It says to me that no matter what is on in the political circus,
We humans are strong
when we stand in what we know, and
that whether we can see others standing with us
at any given moment or not,
they are.
They definitely are. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, BELOVÈD. 

I am, without doubt, certain that And is the secret to all we desire.
Let’s commit to practicing And ever more diligently, shall we?
Until next time,
Be Ampersand.  

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