Missing the Point … Again
Aubrey Gordon tells a heart-rending tale in this morning’s New York Times. Here’s part of it: “I was in the fourth grade, sitting in a doctor’s office, the first time my face flushed with shame. I was, I had just learned, overweight. …
“I learned so much in that one moment: You’re not beautiful. You’re indulging too much. Your body is wrong. You must have done it. I’d failed a test I didn’t even know I’d taken ….”
The doctor who shamed Ms. Gordon missed the point entirely.
She continues, “These declarations of an obesity epidemic and a war on childhood obesity all doggedly pursued one question, and one question only: How do we make fat kids thin? In other words, how do we get rid of fat kids?”
We don’t.
Here’s another example, more recent. In the United States, when the coronavirus hit, the federal government allegedly beefed up unemployment. Truth, they offered a pittance of a sop.
In the European Union, their federal government equivalencies created salary replacement programs.
The U.S., once again, misses the point.
Or, how about this one? I am a strong supporter of the Affordable Care Act because I believe healthcare ought to be universal and free to all citizens. But, really, the program isn’t about healthcare at all, is it? It’s about health insurance.
I submit, once again, that the United States misses the point. Again.
Roxane Gay is one of my favorite New York Times columnists no matter what she’s writing. She’s a take-no-prisoners, call-em-as-she-sees-em author and I appreciate both her candor and her insight.
In today’s paper, she’s writing a business column answering query letters called “Work Friend.” A professional woman named Demi writes about her pet peeve—those who Reply All when it’s unnecessary.
Roxane answers that, no, her pet peeve isn’t extremely petty, just moderately. And, “We will have finally evolved as a species when people stop replying all unnecessarily. Reply to the sender if you need to communicate only with that person, or reply all to everyone if you need to communicate to the group. It’s not that hard.
“I wish I knew why this was so elusive a skill. I guess most people are overwhelmed by professional emails, try to respond to them quickly and perfunctorily, and don’t take the time to reply carefully.”
Well, Roxane, I know why this is so elusive a skill. Here you go:
More Americans worship the Great God Efficiency, a dastardly false idol, than worship the Great God Care, as you mention in your brilliant response to Demi’s question. Sad, but true.
It was the Great God Efficiency that prompted the war on childhood obesity that so many of us have suffered under. There wasn’t any kind of care in sight. Name it, blame it, shame it, get it done. Voila! No more fat kids.
In her bio Aubrey Gordon is identified as “the author of the forthcoming book ‘What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat.’” The list is legion, you know.
There are myriad causes of obesity in this country, most of them rooted in systemic poverty and systemic racism, and in a classist social structure that informs our every economic structure. What “fat kids” put in their mouths is the least of the issues.
The United States of America is, relative to much of the world, a young country, perhaps the equivalent of a late teenager or an early twenty-something in age relative to, say, the ancient roots of Chinese culture, for one. Perhaps our worship of efficiency comes from our juvenility? We like to feel that we are doing something to solve the problem, whatever it is, whether it’s a real solution or not.
But for as long as solutions are about blame, shame, or efficiency, we consistently and repeatedly leave out genuine care. It’s getting to be a bigger and bigger problem as time marches on. You can see this knee-jerk behavioral policy play out in all sorts of arenas.
Genetically-modified seeds rather than slow, steady agricultural planning.
A ‘war,’ of all things, on drugs rather than thoughtful, workable treatment.
Focus on cherry-picked science rather than full-picture, factual choices.
I could go on and on.
America, the Beautiful, it’s time to grow up. Maybe better said, we have a chance to grow up under a new political rubric—an America for all Americans.
No more Reply All. No more worship of Efficiency over Care for Humankind.
There’s a piece of artwork in my home, a wood carving, it says, Human. Kind. Be Both.
That’s a good guideline for this agenda of new choices, Beloved. Let’s slow things down to speed them up taking care and kindness as our permanent agenda.
Maybe then we’ll never miss the point again. And wouldn’t that be utterly ab fab?
Dr. Susan Corso is a spiritual teacher, the founder of iAmpersand, and the author of The Mex Mysteries, the Boots & Boas Books, and spiritual nonfiction. Her website is susancorso.com.