Who’s Telling the Story? And How? Here’s a Way to Write a New One

In this morning’s New York Times, Contributing Opinion Writer Roxane Gay writes, “The United States is not at all united. We live in two countries. In one, people are willing to grapple with racism and bigotry. We acknowledge that women have a right to bodily autonomy, that every American has a right to vote and the right to health care and the right to a fair living wage. We understand that this is a country of abundance and that the only reason economic disparity exists is because of a continued government refusal to tax the wealthy proportionally. 

“The other United States is committed to defending white supremacy and patriarchy at all costs. Its citizens are the people who believe in QAnon conspiracy theories and take Mr. Trump’s misinformation as gospel. They see America as a country of scarcity, where there will never be enough of anything to go around, so it is every man and woman for themselves. 

“They are not concerned with the collective, because they believe any success they achieve by virtue of their white privilege is achieved by virtue of merit. They see equity as oppression. They are so terrified, in fact, that as the final votes were counted in Detroit, a group of them swarmed the venue shouting, ‘Stop the count.’ In Arizona, others swarmed a venue shouting, ‘Count the votes.’ The citizens of this version of America only believe in democracy that serves their interests.” 

I agree with her astute assessment. And yet … and yet … 

… there is another way to tell this story. 

In fact, there’s almost always another way to tell any story. 

One of the ways that Mx. Gay has told this one is in the present tense, as though it’s happening right now. And it is. 

But what if we simply changed her verb tenses to past tense? 

Here is how imagination creates reality. 

Can you imagine saying, in say, ten years, or please God, five, or one … “Remember when the U.S. used to be so polarized? Remember the miracle that happened when we all started a national listening project and began to both listen to and hear one another?” 

It could happen. 

Or what if we told Mx. Gay’s story, and ours, from the viewpoint of compassion? Intent on offering empathy to everyone involved? “Gee, it must be tough to feel that your way of life is so threatened. How might we all work together to change that?” 

Or what if we labeled each side differently? How about Those in Favor of Change and Those in Favor of the Status Quo? We might then ask one another, “Why are you so afraid of change?” and “What’s wrong with the way things are?” 

And listen to the answers of The Others. 

The hardest part about the continued polarization in our country, Beloved, is that no one is (yet) talking about how to switch from an Or World to an And World. Note the keyword in that sentence: how. 

Looked at from the eagle’s perspective, it’s a pretty daunting task, isn’t it? Here’s one way to tell that story: We have to change the minds of 68 million people who are resistant and terrified. 

Looked at from the mouse’s perspective, it’s still pretty daunting, but much more manageable, no? Here’s one way to tell that story: I get to listen to my neighbor’s fears and my own and work together with them to address them both. 

I don’t know about you, but as hard as I may try, I spend very little time on the back of an eagle, and much more time at the mouse level. 

Here’s a suggestion, Beloved.  

How about if, in the next week, you make an effort to speak to three people who disagree with you, just to ask for and hear their stories of what happened in this election. Don’t tell your own (unless someone asks you). Just listen to theirs.  

Collecting stories is a time-honored way of learning about our very human experience. We do it all the time.  

This time, though, instead of seeking out the stories of others who agree with us, let’s seek out the stories of those who disagree with us. 

In the Hebrew Bible’s Book of Proverbs (4:7) there is an adage which applies here, Beloved. “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” 

As far as I can tell the story of this election, wisdom is what will ease us out of the polarization that is so damaging all of us.  

Understanding is the beginning of wisdom. 

If even one percent of We the People determined for ourselves that the path to healing is listening to understand and went out intent on doing just that, I am confident that on Mr. Biden’s Inauguration Day come January, our future would be a lot rosier. 

Are you in? 

Dr. Susan Corso is a spiritual teacher, the founder of iAmpersand, and the author of The Mex Mysteries, the Boots & Boas Books, and spiritual nonfiction. Her website is susancorso.com.